

Maybe Ryan Gosling will be cast in the lead and we’ll want to bone him. There is nothing wrong with trying to write something a little more adult contemporary. And I’ll answer, Jane Austen already wrote that book, but okay. I just want to write my little book about me and my little friends texting each other and such. So maybe you’re saying, I don’t want to create a global phenomenon. They don’t base movies on sonnets, otherwise Ted Berrigan would be the most famous writer of the last 50 years. Only Americans possess the ability to create a breakout crossover global phenomenon. Have you ever seen a blockbuster movie based upon a French bestseller? Camus’ Stranger in IMAX 3D? No. The entire world economy depends upon the Great American novel to enrich the world with vampire and werewolf love triangles that become giant blockbuster movies that sell popcorn, tickets and movie tie-in gear. The rest of you novelists, who knows what you’re thinking. But overall, Martin and Collins get a billion gold stars. Those two whatstheirnames would be like, “Aw, Katniss, but I love you so much.” And she’d be like, “If you truly loved me you’d make out with each other.” And then they would and then everything would be awesome. Hot people can do whatever the hell they want. Let’s stop living in the 20th Century, with all its bullshit morality and monogamy. Ugh!) And obviously Katniss Everdeen should have dated both those dudes in the book rather than suffer the guilt and sorrow of having to choose just one. (Unless it was a weekend! Then they’d have shuttle buses between King’s Landing and Riverrun like only once every few hours.

If Westeros had subways things would move along much faster, George. I had never before read a 1,000-page book, and now I’ve read like 5 of them. You guys are doing great somebody give them genius grants. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the Great American Novel if your name is George R.
